What does one do when their child is not with them?

That is the question that has been boggling my mind since leaving my parents house yesterday evening. Jonathan was dropped off by his "step" father and step-mom around 5:30pm. They were late, didn't call (AGAIN) and didn't thoroughly apologize for my father having to sit and wait to take care of what he had to take care of, so he would be home for Jon to be dropped off. He was also CAKED in mud. Let's just say it was oozing from his socks and shoes. Not to embarrass Jon completely, but to just get the nastiness off of him, I told him to strip down to his tighty whities on the front porch and go up stairs to take a shower to clean up. He was a bit upset that I was having him strip down to his underoos, but he did it, with my sister cheering him on. No, she really wasn't cheering, more so egging him on to get it done so he could get inside to take his shower.

If you were my neighbors, you'd probably call DYFS to complain that my child was standing on my parents front porch in nothing but his undies. Of course, the claim would be substantiated, but the DYFS worker would walk away in complete laughter understanding what it's like to have to MOP up mud, grass, pebbles and god knows whatever else was slung all in, on and around Jon. It was quite disgusting, if you ask me. But then again, Boys will be Boys.

So, after leaving my parents house, the ride home was quiet. I didn't crank the music up like I normally do when Jon isn't in the car. I let it play softly and found myself, talking to the back seat like Jon was truly there. Ah, I'm going crazy. When I got home, I went directly to Jon's room, to close the door. If I close the door, I'll think he's home and just getting dressed (in privacy). That doesn't help me ease the sense of loneliness. I open the door and walk away. I sit down on my bed in front of the computer, and proceed to play spider solitare. This becomes boring and I find myself talking to the hallway, like Jon would respond.

I'm telling you, I think when a mother leaves their child behind, they loose a piece (or all) of their mind. This continued for about an hour when Pat returned home from working at his Grandmother's house. The loneliness suddenly subsided and I stopped talking to the insignificant pieces of furniture, etc, in the apartment. Thankfully, noone witnessed me doing this as they would probably call the psych ward and have me admitted. But hopefully, they wouldn't as they would realize that Mom's would do anything to have their child with them 24-7...with the exception of when they really need the time ALONE.

Well..it's 8:30...time for work. More later!